You’ll often come across cases where couples marry very quickly.
They married after just three months of knowing each other. Some even tie the knot within one month, and sometimes, it just happens within seven days.
Sometimes they marry after a year of a relationship. Some did it after 5 years. Some did it after 15 years. And some are still in a relationship and have not married.
The time has changed a lot today. Earlier, for some, it used to be a responsibility to have a family, some used to do it for “sex” only and then would cheat because there wasn’t any love involved.
Some did it because they really loved someone, and married (as a vow) so that it would kind of be like a sign that they won’t ever leave each other. Also if it was done religiously, they would promise to god, that they will love each other forever. And there were many more reasons.
People often rush into it these days, which I’ve observed. The high divorce rates we see today are a big problem in some aspects.
Many people will argue that earlier people would not divorce because in many places it was not an option. People had no idea about a thing called “Divorce” and also in some religions, divorce was not an option. It is like a forever vow. And yeah, there can be more reasons for it as well.
Earlier many women or men (to be honest, mostly women) who would be suffering in a failed marriage, could not divorce.
What is the reason behind the decision to remain married despite a failed marriage even today? Why do some people choose not to divorce?
The first reason is children. When a family has kids, divorce doesn’t just affect the couple, it also impacts the children. It’s not only about where the kids will go but also about how the divorce will affect them mentally.
Another reason to consider is how the couple’s families, including their parents, are affected by the decision. Parents often offer advice to their children against separation, and it can have a significant emotional impact on them. While it’s essential for couples to make their own decisions, it’s also crucial to value and respect the input and concerns of their parents. And if you want to say, “So what it’s our lives we should make decisions for this” please shut the f*** up. If you don’t care about your parent’s suggestion, you already don’t deserve to be a parent.
Another significant factor is societal pressure. While not everyone experiences this, many people are concerned about what others will think of them if they get a divorce. They worry about the image they will have in society after divorcing, and whether they will ever be able to marry again. What if they could never marry again? What if no one would like them?
Lastly, which is actually the first one I guess, and the biggest one is hope. Hope keeps you together, that one day everything will be alright. Hope calms your thought that, one day you guys will understand each other. Even if there’s no love in a marriage, and the reason for marriage is just a responsibility, they hope that one day they will forget the toxicity and will live a normal life. Hope.
Why do people marry so quickly today, and why some people don’t?
Well, there can be many reasons for that.
Sometimes, you connect deeply with someone and feel it’s right, but there’s a fear of them leaving in the future. And you think marriage can be a way to make a promise and ensure you stay together. And then you marry sooner, which can also be a bad or a good decision.
It’s kind of like a lucky thing, that you felt a vibe with someone, and decided to spend the rest of your life with that person forever, and your marriage was actually a successful one.
But mostly what happens is that the relationship you thought of becomes a lot opposite of what it initially was. Because at first meeting, you can never understand a person completely.
Still, you continue with the thinking that, you’ll both adjust, being unaware of the fact that there are many more things in the future that you might have to adjust to, which you might not be comfortable with.
And this situation leads to divorce a lot of times.
It’s kind of like a lucky thing that you are ACTUALLY able to have a successful marriage if it was an impulsive decision. And if it actually becomes successful, it becomes a wonderful love story.
But not always that happen. It’s kind of like a lucky draw that you get. A lucky draw where the winner is 1 in a million (compared to the times like today).
But for some people, even in relationships where they are not married, the relationship can last for years without ever leading to marriage, and it can still be considered successful. And if they had married each other, that wouldn’t have changed anything in their bond. Maybe it would just give that couple a surety, but that’s hardly a change because to be very honest, for a serious couple, a marriage won’t give them seriousness. The day they came into a relationship, it would be a commitment already.
When love is not a contract or something that is realized through a promise, then commitment is also not something that is first said and then then you follow the road of it.
What I mean is, that these things just happen. You don’t plan to be in a commitment. That’s just a naming thing nowadays.
If you truly love someone, and you think that you’re actually able to adjust with that person no matter what the situation will be, you’ll be able to adjust, then go for it.
The road example is just an analogy (a bad one).
In Conclusion: Is Marriage Important?
If you read everything that was written above, then you don’t actually need a conclusion. If you understood what I actually meant above, you don’t need any further explanation for the importance of marriage.
But in short, marriage is something today, which is done like a very temporary promise, because of that, the value of marriage is dying.
I have heard my own cousin say that marriage spoils a couple. I don’t know if I should criticize his thinking or not, but he definitely has a negative perception of marriage due to other people having bad experiences around him.
But marriage isn’t something that can solve a problem, it can only strengthen your relationship to some extent. Sometimes, it can be a reason not to break up, but it cannot always keep your love alive. It’s your way of loving someone that will truly sustain your relationship.
