Page 2
You and I are beautiful if our imagination exists,
but we’re dull if we stop thinking about it…
The tale of Altan is one I yearn to have graced existence.
28th January 1942
Me, Ehud, and Gad have been friends since we were kids.
Joel and Ehud are brothers, and their parents are wonderful. Whenever I visited them, they always offered me a full plate of Baumkuchen, also known as ‘Tree Cake’.
Ehud and Joel are remarkably joyful brothers, always wearing smiles. Ehud cared deeply for Joel and was protective of him.
Joel was a year younger than Ehud, yet his parents placed him in the same class as Ehud so that they could study and support each other whenever needed.
Joel arrived in this city three years ago and quickly became friends with both me and Gad. He is a really kind-hearted person, sometimes
Gad was his parents’ only child.
Although it may have appeared that they had lost hope in him doing anything significant in his life, I have observed them always being very protective of him.
However, it was also puzzling to witness them occasionally disciplining Gad through physical punishment whenever he didn’t perform well in exams. It’s weird I know.
Although he is a good friend of mine. He actually saved me once from an accident. I would have literally died that day, or at least would have injured myself badly.
But that was the first time we met, and we became really good friends.
Sometimes Gad can be annoying because of the number of personal questions he asks. He is definitely very interested in other people’s lives rather than his own because he is terrible at studies.
And recently he has started the habit of smoking as well.
I gave it a try and it tasted trash to be very honest.
We were at the station, waiting for Gad’s uncle to arrive.
He had to go there alone, as it was 10 kilometers away from his house. So, he asked me to accompany him, and I agreed since I was getting bored.
Eva hadn’t given me any sign, so I couldn’t go and meet her.
However, during our last meeting, she gifted me a beautiful poem. It has been five days since we last saw each other. I can’t just go and meet her, considering the presence of many soldiers in the area. Besides, she instructed me not to enter the building unless I saw her at the window at 11:20 a.m.
That’s our usual meeting routine.
If I spot her at the window at 11:20 a.m., only then am I allowed to enter the building.
We were at the station, eagerly awaiting Gad’s uncle. In the meantime, we shared laughter and engaged in discussions about various school-related topics. Suddenly, Gad exclaimed, “Oh, there he is.”
Gad’s uncle disembarked from the train, and my smile gradually faded away. He was accompanied by three Nazi soldiers. I turned to Gad and asked, ‘Is he your uncle?’
Gad replied, “Yes… why do you ask?”
“Your uncle works for the Nazis?” I asked.
Gad responded, “Well, he doesn’t exactly work for them, but he does have some influential connections.”
“Your uncle is clearly affiliated with the Nazis, Gad,” I stated.
“Yeah,” Gad admitted, “I mean, in this world, we all find ourselves entangled in some way, don’t we?”
As I looked at the soldiers, I recognized one of them as the same person who had forcibly taken my neighbors for execution that day. He was also the one who had struck my father on the head with a gun.
Gad’s uncle approached, and Gad warmly hugged and greeted him. He proceeded to introduce me to his uncle.
Mr. Wilhelm smiled at me and asked, “Hello, young man. How are you?”
I stammered in my response, “I… um… I’m… I’m good, sir. How are you?”
Gad inquired, “What’s the matter, man? He’s just my uncle. He doesn’t look that intimidating for you to be scared of him.”
“Call me Mr. Wilhelm, boy, or you can even call me your uncle. Gad’s my nephew, which means you’re my nephew as well. No need for ‘sir!’” Mr. Wilhelm kindly said. “Come on children, let’s go home, we have a car outside the station, we’ll go in that”
The soldier accompanying Mr. Wilhelm glanced at me, and his expression showed recognition. He offered a smile and remarked, “You’re that kid, right? The one with those Jewish friends?”
Gad and his uncle fixed their gazes on me. I replied defiantly, “Yes, I was. So what? They were my neighbors, and YOU — “
Gad interjected, “Uncle, they were his neighbors, and they became friends. You know how neighbors can become like family, so it was the same with Altan. But now he’s fine and doing even better!”
Mr. Wilhelm responded, “That’s good to hear. You shouldn’t get involved in something like this, my boy. Just share what you know, and you’ll all be safe. Come on, let’s go. We need to leave.”
I glanced at Gad, who advised me to remain silent for the moment.
We arrived at Gad’s house. I told Gad that I would head home now. Gad asked me to wait outside for just two minutes while he went inside.
I waited for five minutes, and he returned.
Me: “Yeah? What’s up?”
Gad: “Come on, let’s take a walk.”
We walked a few meters away from his house, and I couldn’t help but ask:
Me: “Why did you interrupt me back there?”
Gad: “Interrupt? What do you mean?”
Me: “I was talking to that soldier. Why did you interrupt me?”
Gad: “Really? You’re asking that now? What’s gotten into you? Why are you so angry all the time about these things?”
Me: “Gad?! I don’t think you understand what it’s like to face death, to cry, or to lose someone you care about or love!”
Gad: “Oh, please, let’s not start with that.”
Me: “Gad? Those were my neighbors, more like my family. Your uncle’s soldiers killed them. My family and I are still mourning. What did they die for?”
Gad: “Altan, my brother, it’s not our place to judge. We just want to survive here.”
Me: “Survive? Live? This isn’t living; it’s living like a coward! Your uncle is aligning himself with an evil person, killing innocent people! I don’t care if he wants to conquer the world or whatever. But he’s responsible for so many deaths, do you even realize that? What are your uncle’s plans? To become the next Hitler? Is that why he is working with the Nazis?”
Gad: “ALTAN! Shut the f*** Up! It’s my uncle you’re talking about.
Me: “Good that you know who I am talking about even though I mentioned him?! Are you blind or ignorant?”
Gad: “Enough! Who do you think you are? A superhero? Go ahead, save everyone if you can. Go right now. You think what he’s doing is wrong? What I’m doing is wrong? Then go and fix it all. Or better yet, just do something if you can. Save anyone if you’re able to. You tried saving your neighbors, didn’t you? So, what happened next? Why did you stop? Did they shoot at you? No, right? Then why did you stop? You stopped because you were afraid of risking your family, weren’t you?”
Me: “I… em… I wa… was — ”
Gad: “Exactly. We’re all here to live Altan. Today, it’s not ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, it’s what’s ‘better’.”
Me: “Killing someone is never a better option to survive Gad.”
Gad: “Somehow you chose survival that day Altan. The day your neighbors cried out for help. You thought of your father as your family cried and pulled your father away from the soldiers who were assaulting him. You saved him, but it came at a cost. Your neighbors.”
I stared at him in shock because, in a way, he was right. My mouth opened as if to respond, but I found myself speechless, unable to find the right words. I stood there, shaken, and tears welled up in my eyes.
I came to the painful realization that I lacked the strength to protect my family or my beloved Eva. My heart ached with the weight of this truth.
I knew that one day, everything would be lost, and all I would be able to do is watch. That day would mark the end of my entire life.
Which means, I should survive, that’s it. Just like Gad said. Give up hope.
Gad: “Yes, Altan. This is not a world where we can live as we please. Here, those in power must be obeyed. And, to be honest, I don’t see a problem with that. Is it not simply a matter of living? We obey them, and we lead content lives. I mean, what harm is there?”
The ground beneath my feet seemed to vanish, and my vision blurred as my soul descended into an ocean of perpetual failure. The relentless waves carried me to a place I had no desire to be, onto a shore I wished to avoid.
I had battled these waves before and fought hard against them. But today, I realized that I had been fighting them in their favor. I had been swimming in the wrong direction, ignoring the harsh reality, and simply going along with the less troublesome current. I wasn’t different; I was just like everyone else in this situation.
I headed home after that.
Gad’s voice was in my head, telling me that it’s life. And this is how we all always live. He said that what I did wasn’t wrong. It was a choice to survive. And I have the right to do this. My soul is owned by me, and I can make my choice to survive. We all want to survive. This is just living.
Is it? Eva?
Page 2
